Jennifer Bacon


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Untouchable Dad.

My father died last week. Or the week before. Maybe he died awhile ago, I suppose I'm not sure. August 4th was the date, but the feeling has been alive in me for an endless and unknown amount of time. I sit in the wake of my father's death, the most unsettled feeling cascading over me, with an inability to move. My father passed that on to me-the inability to move. My father's inability to move was strong enough to shift tectonic plates, to force oceanic surges. He moved so little that even when he moved he was unseen. Allow me to explain... when i see a black man i see my father. tall. big belly. bald head.  i smell whiskey and disgust.  anger clenches my jaw tight i feel my breath catch in a decade of elapsed time.  unseen. and all around me.  in every drink. in every moment of fury. when i see a black man i feel the worsts in me shadow out the sun. regret yields to anger, opens to pain Back in college, when the surges really began to ris...
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Being Black: Voter Representation

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Long before we were granted the citizenship right to vote, blacks were considered to be 3/5 of a person...and even less before our skin color was thus written on official government documentation. Rights were not granted, considerations were not made, we were not of the people-for the people-by the people. Today, I cast my ballot in the local Denver election. This holds great meaning. My vote represents the wholeness of my person. My vote represents my blackness. My vote represents the power I have as an individual citizen. My vote represents those who tirelessly fought for my black skin to represent equality. And although my vote does not change how all others view me, my vote does bring clarity to representation. Because with one vote, I show my power in being whole.
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Regret.

Fortunate . That's what I instinctively connect to the word regret. I am fortunate in feeling I have little to regret. It is possible that somewhere out in the universe someone believes I should regret more. And, as I read the dictionary definition of the word I come to understand that regret means much more than my brain had previously informed me of. regret: feel sad, repentant, or disappointed over  (something that has happened or been done, especially a loss or missed opportunity)  I suppose I should rethink what I hold as regret in my mind, in my heart. In looking back, I shall share my regrets in the truest sense-the ones I held in relation to my own definition. The call for help that was not to be.  I sat curled tightly in my bed, pressed against the wall that heard everything. Frozen in my disbelief. Rattling with anger. Glued in place by my need for understanding. She was on the other side of the wall being beaten by her lover, by the man who came i...
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