Boobies & Birkenstocks

AND

Two words that bring me instant joy.

Two objects that always lift the corners of my mouth.

Boobies are the most powerful asset on a human body. Boobies can stop time. Boobies can elicit tears, smiles, silence, whiplash.

I will always hold boobies above Birkenstocks...

but there's something joyous to be said about leather on the feet that cannot be denied.

1. Looking at them. No matter the size or shape, boobies offer an incredible visual experience for all.

2. Visualizing them. When you're not around boobies, close your eyes and imagine a room filled with boobies. What an experience!

3. Feeling them.

4. Feeling them with your face.

5. Feeling them while participating in another activity.

Birkenstocks come in a pair, like boobies, and feel good against your skin, like boobies.

Birkenstocks are made in a wide array of colors, shapes and sizes...just like boobies are.

Birkenstocks perfectly fit the human they are attached to, like boobies tend to do.

Birkenstocks are beautiful. There's no denying it. As are boobies.

Boobies are magical. Birkenstocks are mesmerizing.

Boobies and Birkenstocks both have many positive and powerful purposes.